Friday, May 29, 2009

Tricks and Gimmicks

One of the first things I do when I walk in the house is check the Caller ID and then listen to any phone messages. There are always two or three out-of-state numbers on the Caller ID. They are most always solicitation calls and an unwelcome sight, because I’ve registered and re-registered with The National Do-Not Call Registry.

Of late, most of these are “Debt Assistance” calls. It seems that the economic crisis has multipled the number of people in this growing and (I assume) lucrative field. Perhaps the majority of these calls come from businesses too new or too small to be aware of the ramifications of calls to registered homes.

When they leave a message, most of them are people and not automated messaging (another indicator this is a new business model.) They all have a hook. The other night, the polite, attractive, female voice said she was calling back because “we have spoken before.” Now, I checked, and we most certainly have not.

On the same evening I took a check-style letter (i.e. perforated on three sides) out of the mailbox. It had all kinds of official-looking warnings about the Federal Codes I would be violating if I tampered with the envelope. I predicted, correctly, that it was an extended warranty offer and not a check. All that other stuff was “marketing” to get me to at least open it before I tore it in small pieces and deposited it in the recycle bin.

What both of these tactics have in common is that they are tricks or gimmicks to get your attention.

I appreciate good advertising (so tell me, why are beer commercials always the best?), openly and sarcastically mock bad ads (and yes, Burger King does need to fire their agency!), and admire clever marketing tactics and a well-turned phrase.

But no one likes to be tricked.

So even if these folks had great offers I couldn’t tell you because I won’t do business if the person selling me feels "slimy.” And when they use a trick to get my attention they just come off like that weasel that slams the basketball off your shins while going out of bounds. It’s legal (even if it is true that it is assault anywhere except a basketball court) but it is just a trick and not a skill.

I never mind being beat by a better basketball player, having my attention turned by a clever merchandising piece, or seeing my objections overcome by a skillful and persuasive sales person. I do mind when I lose a game on a gimmick, or waste my time with a marketing trick.

And so do you.

If you have a proposition with true value, don’t hide it under a gimmick unless you just want idiots to buy from you. And if that is okay with you, then don’t contact me. I don’t want to be included in that demographic.

And neither do you.

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

May Our Remembrance Become Our Renewal – Part 5

Remarks made at the annual Celebration of Remembrance & Renewal of the Ancient & Accepted Scottish Rite of Utah, James Lowe Chapter Rose Croix in the Valley of Salt Lake on Thursday, April 23, 2009.

There are four practices that will allow us to turn remembrance into renewal more often. Fourth: The beneficiaries of any rebirth must be the living, especially those living most closely around us.

In early February, I was working about the house on Saturday when I received a call from the CEO of Granite Credit Union.

This is a man of superior ability and great integrity. There is no one I’d rather have at the helm of our Credit Union during this economic downturn. Unfortunately, he called to let me know that the “cold” he’d had since last summer had been diagnosed as cancer.

Since that time, I have watched his health deteriorate quite rapidly. I have also watched as he has resigned from every non-profit board, even his beloved Boy Scouts, and put aside all other hobbies and interests while he spends each precious moment with those he loves most.

The best of his time left here is reserved for his wife, children and grandchildren. This is as it ought to be, for these are the people he has and will have had the greatest impact upon.

When all else is stripped away, it is the people who surround us that make the most difference to us. And we ought to strive to make the most difference in their lives.

If those closest to us cannot see the effects of a rebirth, I would contend there is no change!

We gather today to remember the virtuous lives of good men, gone from among us, that we might emulate them.

We strive to live so that our own memory may likewise be cherished, and more importantly that we can better serve the living.

It is my hope that we may each turn this Celebration of Remembrance into a Personal Renewal. I close, then, with this injunction attributed to wise King Solomon: “May the memory of the dead friend cement more firmly the amity of the living!”
[1]


[1] AASR, 6th Degree Ritual

May Our Remembrance Become Our Renewal – Part 4

Remarks made at the annual Celebration of Remembrance & Renewal of the Ancient & Accepted Scottish Rite of Utah, James Lowe Chapter Rose Croix in the Valley of Salt Lake on Thursday, April 23, 2009.

There are four practices that will allow us to turn remembrance into renewal more often. Third: In every life there is some virtue, that is: something wise, strong, or beautiful; and we have to find it, and let it inspire us.

It is easy to learn from the lives of the great or famous, but there is something notable in every life. We often miss remarkable lessons in the life of lowly, or those with whom we have differences.

As Robertson Davies has wisely noted, “Few people can see genius in someone who has offended them.”

We can even learn from people who lived long ago and we do not know.

Few people I know love to spend time wandering in Cemeteries as much as I do. I’m not drawn by any maudlin or morbid motive. I go to ponder and draw strength.

You can’t always learn a lot from a headstone – just a few particulars - but you can often learn a great deal from a series of headstones or memorials.

On one trip into Central Utah, I opened a flimsy wooden gate and entered a dilapidated cemetery that is the only hint that the town of Manassah even existed. The water-table is too high to support much other than wetlands, and the untended graves were sinking out of sight nearly 20-years ago when I visited.

There among the pioneer graves was a row that included the final resting places of a Scandinavian immigrant and his wife, marked only by small, humble rock headstones roughly 8x10 inches.

Next to this woman, one after another, were the graves of eight children born to the couple. Each had died shortly after birth!

I paused and ached as I felt the pain and suffering that both parents must have experienced after each birth, short life and early death. But had this been all, it would not have inspired me as it did.

In other parts of this neglected Cemetery, I easily recognized four other children of this afflicted couple. Three had married and had children of their own. One more had died as a young man fighting in the Utah Indian War.

Their strength and perseverance inspired me to weather my own personal trial, to be more stoic in the face of my own buffetings. I resolved right there not to suffer so pathetically and to exercise greater strength and persistence.

When we look at the lives of others, it is the good that inspires us. The sun rises again each morning, heralding a new day of promise and opportunity, but few find new growth in the bright sunshine unless they feel the warmth of enlightenment.

There are four practices that will allow us to turn remembrance into renewal more often. Tomorrow, the Fourth of these practices: The beneficiaries of any rebirth must be the living, especially those living most closely around us.

May Our Remembrance Become Our Renewal – Part 3

Remarks made at the annual Celebration of Remembrance & Renewal of the Ancient & Accepted Scottish Rite of Utah, James Lowe Chapter Rose Croix in the Valley of Salt Lake on Thursday, April 23, 2009.

There are four practices that will allow us to turn remembrance into renewal more often. Second: All of us are less than perfect, and we must forgive and forget to set aside the imperfections that block our view of truth.

Those who look back at departed friends, parents, family, or acquaintances remembering every slight, hurt, or sin are, in my experience, bitter, chronically negative, and poor companions.

Those who look for and find the wisdom, strength, and beauty in every experience, person, or memory are the best companions. Even in illness or adversity they are the most divine of humanity.

Often it is not until we try parenting ourselves that we are impressed with the job our own parents did, and begin to wonder why we weren’t the children we should have been.

A Masonic Tradition records that Hiram, King of Tyre and Solomon, King of Israel had a disagreement that almost ended their friendship, and could easily have led to war.

Hiram sought forgiveness for his “hasty words and unjust suspicions.” Solomon told Hiram that his words were “forgiven and forgotten.”
[1]

Every time someone says, “I can forgive, but I will never forget,” what I hear is, “I just can’t forgive!”

In the aforementioned Masonic Tradition, Solomon wisely taught his Royal Friend that, “Forgiveness is a Divine Virtue, for everyday God forgives us much or He would not suffer us to live.”
[2]

Many of us, and most especially me, need to forgive and forget more often, more fully, and more divinely in order to free ourselves and others from error.

There are four practices that will allow us to turn remembrance into renewal more often. Tomorrow, the Third of these practices: In every life there is some virtue, that is: something wise, strong, or beautiful; and we have to find it, and let it inspire us.




[1] AASR, 6th Degree Ritual
[2] AASR, 6th Degree Ritual

May Our Remembrance Become Our Renewal – Part 2

Remarks made at the annual Celebration of Remembrance & Renewal of the Ancient & Accepted Scottish Rite of Utah, James Lowe Chapter Rose Croix in the Valley of Salt Lake on Thursday, April 23, 2009

There are four practices that will allow us to turn remembrance into renewal more often. First: We must faithfully and accurately record the memory.

Recently, the Frenchman Joseph Brocard passed away at the age of 88. Joseph was the last surviving member of the French Resistance network Agir, and is best remembered for locating and identifying the “Doodlebug” launch sites in northern France.

As noted in his Obituary in the Financial Times: In December 1941, while seeking out the French Resistance, Joseph Brocard was sent to meet “… Michel Hollard, a French veteran of the first world war who had … contacted an officer of the British Special Intelligence Service and … set up the Agir (Resistance) network.”
[1]

Thereafter, “Brocard traveled around France, often by bicycle, under the cover of looking for wood for Hollard’s company … On the SIS’s instructions, to ensure secrecy, Agir agents were not to contact their families…use phones, radios or even the mail…Hollard collected their reports by hand …”

“When they first located the top-secret sites in Northern France (Brocard and other Agir Agents) did not know that these were for launching the V1, which could fly 100 miles… (And) carry a ton of explosives. With Agir’s maps, the RAF was able to destroy most of the V1 sites as part of Operation Crossbow …”
[2]

“Brocard was arrested by the Nazis in July 1943 after being caught mapping a German airfield. He was tortured for five days before leaping from the fourth-floor window of a Gestapo-occupied villa near Paris, breaking his spine in two places.”

“…He found his way to Paris and to Hollard, who had his comrade’s torso placed in plaster. To get him proper treatment, Hollard smuggled his friend across the Swiss border on foot, sometimes crawling, sometimes with Brocard on his back.”
[3]

Brocard returned to Paris to head the Agir network until the end of WWII. He was highly decorated, “… yet, according to his son, Michel, wartime politics and jealousies between former (resistance fighters)…brought him up against bureaucratic obstacles for the rest of his life. Wherever he applied for jobs in state or local agencies…he was always rejected.”

Brocard, “eventually discovered that this was due to a file on him in France’s internal intelligence service which referred to his work for the British SIS and described him as “an agent of a foreign power.””
[4]

Brocard’s work changed the course of the Allied invasion of Europe and eventually freed France of Nazi domination.

Despite that, the official testimony of Brocard’s sacrifice, that is, how it was officially recorded, was documented in such a way that Brocard’s patriotism and sacrifice was diminished in the report.

As you can see, it matters how we record the memory. We must strive to do so faithfully and accurately.

There are four practices that will allow us to turn remembrance into renewal more often. Tomorrow, the Second of these practices: : All of us are less than perfect, and we must forgive and forget to set aside the imperfections that block our view of truth.



[1] Obituary, Joseph Brocard, Financial Times, April 16, 2009.
[2]Obituary, Joseph Brocard, Financial Times, April 16, 2009.
[3] Obituary, Joseph Brocard, Financial Times, April 16, 2009.
[4] Obituary, Joseph Brocard, Financial Times, April 16, 2009.

May Our Remembrance Become Our Renewal – Part 1

I recently gave the Keynote Address at the annual Celebration of Remembrance & Renewal of the Ancient & Accepted Scottish Rite of Utah, James Lowe Chapter of Rose Croix in the Valley of Salt Lake on Thursday, April 23, 2009. It is too long for one blog post, so I've broken it up into five parts and will share those parts here over the next five days. Today, Part 1:

In my front yard, the trees bear beautiful white blossoms, green shoots poke up in the flower beds and the grass slowly becomes a lush green hue.

We are in the midst of the Annual Renewal of Life we call Spring.

Man, often as dormant in winter as a hibernating bear, moves back outside and starts to shed his winter weight. While he tends to his yard, gathers with friends and family, and enjoys the activities of the summer he turns his face toward the Sun. All of this is a part of the vast and endless Cycle of Life. Light, warmth, and renewal presuppose a time of darkness, cold and death.

The setting of the Sun and the cold dark of the night precede the bright rising of the Sun and the promise of a new day.

In the middle of this Rebirth, we have assembled, as noted elsewhere in Ritual, “… to honor the memory of those brethren whom death hath taken from us; to contemplate our own approaching dissolution; and, by the remembrance of immortality, to raise our souls above the considerations of this transitory existence.”
[1]

Soong Mei-ling, better remembered as Madam Chiang Kai-Shek, taught that, “We live in the present, we dream of the future, and we learn eternal truths from the past.”

Eternal truths, gleaned from those past, have the power to lift our spirits. As I participated in the Spring Reunion, I once again found inspiration in the Degrees, and my batteries were recharged.

As we learn more about the human brain, we have discovered that human memory is not like making a documentary film. Each experience is deeply affected by our point-of-view when it is recorded. They are influenced again each time we take a memory out of storage, view it or share it.

Over time, our memories quite naturally change. Add to this the psychological need of man to rationalize his behavior, and you can easily see why, “The older I get the better I was!”

Some experiences don’t even get into memory. Jack Nicklaus notoriously refused to recall bad putts. You may feel his oft repeated claim, “I never three putt,” when he most assuredly did, was more boast than truth.

Nicklaus was, in fact, simply modeling a behavior he wanted to perfect. He had learned to block any facts that did not fit with his ideal. It made the difference between him and an average Putter.

When I line up a much needed putt, I find thousands of missed putts haunting me. All too often I melt down. That is one reason I am not chasing Tiger every weekend for a million dollar purse. My driving and my chipping are two other reasons!

How we think not only affects outcomes in our daily life but also influences our memory. When we ignore facts, and there are lots of reasons why we do, there is a gap between our memory and reality.

Unlike the Cycle of the Seasons where Winter turns to Spring when it is time, remembrance does not always, or automatically, turns into renewal.

A profound experience, exceptional example, or powerful memory may trigger a life-altering change, but even then we must act upon it. And if our mind and heart are not receptive then the remembering is just reminiscing.

There are four practices that will allow us to turn remembrance into renewal more often. Tomorrow, the First of these practices: We must faithfully and accurately record the memory.


[1] Ritual, Lodge of Sorrow

Friday, May 22, 2009

Memorial Day Tribute

Many years ago my oldest daughter, Lyssha, married a nice young man who subsequently joined the Air Force. Last year, my Nicole married a fine man who was on his way to Basic Military Training just weeks after they married. And late last year, we lost our baby, Natalie, when she married a good man who’d courted her while he completed his aircraft maintenance training with the Navy.

It seems that quite unwittingly, I created the Non-Commissioned branch of the Tibbitts Family – my Father, Uncle and Brother all being retired Air Force Majors and aircrew. I chose to enter as an E-1, and while I still technically out-rank all my sons-in-law, I suspect it won’t be for long.

I’m very proud of all of these men for a number of reasons. First, they are fine young men, honorable and capable. Second, they love my daughters and do their best to look after them. And lastly, they are all patriots.


Jacob, the eldest, just left for his second tour in Afghanistan and his three daughters miss him dreadfully. He is a great father, but also very good at what he does, and what he does is support Army Rangers, embedded with them to call in close air support. He’s also been in Iraq twice, and spent a year without his family, on the border between North and South Korea.

Dan is a member of the Utah Air Guard. He was actually headed for an Army Enlistment when his future Father-in-Law (ah, yes that’s me) let him know that we are an Air Force Family. He agreed to speak with a family friend who happens to be both a Lt. Colonel in the Utah Air Guard and the head of Personnel.

Danny finished all his schools last year and does his duty while finishing his degree. He may well be called upon to rotate to Afghanistan later this year. He manages emergency situations – especially those related to chemical, nuclear, or biological warfare, and has special training in road side bombs events.

Nate is a radar and cockpit tech assigned to the Navy Growler (a very special version of the F-18) in Washington. When he asked for my daughters hand (as they all did --- and not at my insistence!) I noted that we could probably relax the Air Force Family rule to allow him because of his association with jet aircraft. It’s only fair; we share a specialty (my entire career was as an aircraft maintenance mechanic, technician, instructor and manager for the F4 and F16.)

There is a good chance that Nate will have to make a very long voyage at sea with a Carrier Group without my Natalie, or that he will leave the country for an assignment in Asia (and take her with him) next year.

As proud as I am of them, I also want to pay tribute to their wives and in Jake’s case, children. In addition to being a Vet, I am also a military brat – to be quite precise, I was an Officers Brat. I noted at Dan and Nicole’s wedding luncheon in my remarks that when Dan put on the uniform he was part of the fourth generation of our family to do so.

I know from my experiences that those who are left behind also serve but are rarely acknowledged. It appears to me that the Armed Services are doing a bit better with support and recognition of this fact, but it is still far from what is needed. Of course, one thing an Air Force Brat learns early is that it takes the government to really screw up something simple. And the complicated … well, they have a two-word phrase for what that looks like but it’s completely inappropriate for me to share it with you.

I’m proud of the sacrifices my Mother, sisters, brothers, daughters and grandchildren make. They also do, or have done, things that require courage and fortitude. They are often lonely. They worry and fret. And they aren’t the same until they are reunited, whether it is a normal day at the base, a training assignment or a conflict that takes their service member from them.

I’m grateful for the commitment of those who serve today, among them my three sons-in-law. I’m so thankful for the sacrifices of their parents, spouses, and children. I’m grateful for all those who have served. And I appreciate the opportunity I had to put on the uniform of my beloved nation for a decade.

I hope you will take some time to think about those who have served this great nation, those who now serve, and the families who support and love them this weekend. And I hope you will be filled with gratitude and appreciation.

Monday, May 18, 2009

Authentic Candidates

In early February, I was working about the house on a Saturday when I received a call from the CEO of our Credit Union. This is a man of superior ability and great integrity, and unfortunately, he called to let me know that the “cold” he’d had since last summer had been diagnosed as cancer.

Since that time, I have watched his health deteriorate quite rapidly. I’ve also see what Ralph J. Bunche would call his “bigness,” that is, the full flowering of his personality in a time of personal crisis. At his insistence, the board of directors has been busy searching for, and interviewing candidates to be the new CEO.

Hiring is a basic business process. It begins with getting the word out and ends with a qualified, new employee. In between those two innocuous sounding steps is lots of reading, vetting, researching, interviewing, fact-checking, formulating, and “discussing.”

Finding an authentic candidate with the right fit is hard, time-consuming work for a selection committee. There are many well-qualified, good people looking for employment these days. When you advertise for a position like CEO of a Credit Union with $250 million plus in assets, you get a pool full of well-educated, highly-qualified people.

While I’m no novice at hiring, having done much during my career, hiring a CEO has been the most interesting experience I’ve had for a number of years. I’ve gained an appreciation for things I haven’t thought much about for awhile.

For example: The genuine article is quite impressive! The authentic candidate is the man or woman who has not been completely taken over by interview coaches and current hiring wisdom.

It takes a lot of courage to be authentic. You have to risk taking the wrong stand and being rejected.

Finding a “real” candidate with the right fit is made more difficult by our current formulaic process. It is tough for a candidate to be themselves. All the prevailing wisdom is pushing a specific formula for interviewing that often obscures the individual.

Frankly, if I hear another candidate say, “That’s a good question …” I think I’ll scream.

But lest you think it is only the candidate that perpetuates the formula, rest assured that silly interviewer questions like, “Please tell us one of your strengths and one of your weaknesses,” are a huge part of the problem. (“Ah, gee, let me see, my biggest weakness is that I am a workaholic!”)

Leading questions that get the candidate talking about their experience and experiences – and keep the candidate talking for most of the interview, give you the best opportunity to get to know them. All the facts can be checked. The important part is seeing who they are, and for that they have to talk, and talk, and talk some more.

You might be surprised what you learn when you give the candidate the opportunity to talk for roughly an hour about themselves and only interrupt for clarification. Authentic candidates eschew the formula, answer the questions and let the chips fall where they may.

Over the last eight weeks I’ve seen several candidates who “play the game” very well. Interestingly, not a one of them is progressing into our final interviews. Neither are any that have actively obscured facts we had at our fingertips. And neither are those who were qualified and genuine and just won’t fit with our direction or culture.

Our final candidates are all women or men with the confidence, integrity and courage to answer us directly and be themselves. They didn’t cover up, but they did explain when needed. And they will fit into our culture and appear to be capable of leading in an appropriate direction.

And when the final decision is made, perhaps I can get a good night’s sleep.